Tarzan - Review

The Legend of Tarzan has been passed down from generation to generation, much like the story of King Kong. Some directors have shined, and some have plummeted into the fiery depths of Hollywood hell. It was only a matter of time before the Loin cloth-wearing ape-man himself was rebooted onto the silver screen, and 14 years later Hollywood finally decided that this was to take place. Walking in the shadows of the 1999 Disney enhanced ‘Tarzan’ the 2014 version had a lot to shake in order to surpass it’s predecessor, and unfortunately it failed to even grasp at the chance to make improvements from the Phil Collins soundtrack heavy epic, that was released a whole decade ago.

Reinhard Kloos and Constantine films tried their best to re imagine the tale through CGI glory, with sharp visuals and free motion moving characters; well at least that was the idea, isn’t it? The whole film is so awkwardly rendered, that it feels like you are playing a lagging game of ‘The Sims’ on a Window ’95 computer that has been thrown down a flight of stairs. I’m not per say an adamant fan of the ’99 version, but this film is just so emotionless that it makes Joan Rivers look like a lively non-plastic spring chicken. You have one job as an animator, and that is to bring life to the animation, to bring magic to the screen and captivate an audience, so that 5 of the 11 people in the movie theatre don’t walk out halfway through your heavily greed funded film.

I would love to say that the film wasn’t all that bad and that it had its moments of brilliance, but it just simply did not deliver, and that is heavily unfortunate. So if you are looking for a film to ease the kids for the upcoming school holidays, maybe give this one a gigantic miss and save yourself, both the time and the money, cause I do not wish the pain of watching this garbage club member onto anyone.

I give this film a 1/10 and a “Can I have a refund?”

Reviewed by Mase Shaw - Follow Mase on Twitter @MaseShaw